It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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