Rock
Scissors
Fuck
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
