how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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