what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
