sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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