He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
