whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
