Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
BRING THE BAGELS
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
