party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
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