Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
