How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
