Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
