We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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