That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
