benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
