i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
