Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
