ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
he thought i was a dude.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
