google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
