i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
