How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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