Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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