You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
