im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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