God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Im part way to drunk.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
