i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
