Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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