It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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