Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
