You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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