you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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