I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
