Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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