id be glad to
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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