Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
