Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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