Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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