Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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