I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
