just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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