her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
