you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
