we have officially lost it.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
