is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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