I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
