I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
