My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i would punch a child for taco bell
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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