I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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