I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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