I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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